Will this get me laid?

Do you have a habit of criticizing your wife when she brings up a point you disagree with? Do you pick up the credit card bill and bitch that she’s spent too much money on this or that? Do you practically stick your face in your plate hardly saying a word to your wife after she’s labored over dinner? After dinner do you spend the night glued to the TV or to a book?

Then when it’s time for bed, after an evening of expressing indifference, criticism, and self-involvement, do you still think you’re going to have sex that night? Really?

Here’s what actually happens. Every time you go out of your way to be critical to your wife, complain about her in public, ignore her, dismiss her—you are doing your level best to turn her into a cold fish.

Hey, you say, What am I supposed to do? Act like nothing she does bothers me? Let her piss away all our money? Make stupid small talk all night about her favorite cooking show? I’m wiped when I get home from work. All I want is a little peace and quiet. A chance to watch a football game. Shit, is that asking too much?

Not if you can't be bothered to try to be the least bit appealing. Not if you make your wife feel small and unimportant. Not if you make no effort to show you care about her.

I’m not saying you have to be Prince Charming and spend every day/night wooing your wife. Really guys, you just need to stop and think before you do or say something thoughtless. Think: WILL THIS GET ME LAID? Is there a nicer way or maybe a better time to bring up the credit card debt? Will it really take so much out of you to pull your face from the TV now and then and chat with your wife? Even about a cooking show?

You must have done something right back when, because you got her to fall in love with you and marry you. But you’ve grown lazy and careless. And now you are paying the inevitable price for having dropped the ball.

So next time you’re about to say something thoughtless to your wife, or you’re about to be inconsiderate or snide, ask yourself this question before you take that step— Will this get me laid?

Think about it guys. This isn’t rocket science. You know what to do.