More than talk therapy, I take an active and intensive approach to teaching couples specific methods for making things right when things go wrong.
Many couples have tried to get professional help in the past without success, remaining in a state of frustration, dissatisfaction and disharmony. Without knowing what to do and when, couples end up in ever-intensifying cycles of resentment, anger, despair, withdrawal and ultimately disintegration.
My primary goal as a relationship specialist is to inspire the rebirth of loving feelings and loving actions in place of loneliness, despair, frustration, anger and detachment. I’m aiming for a return of great times and meaningful conversations.
My mission is to promote full respect relationships with a deep regard for the integrity of each individual and a focus on the role of equality in the creation of long-term intimacy.
Please note - I am happy to see individuals whose partners are not ready for coaching yet. I also coach individuals who struggle in relationships and are seeking to do better.
Unlike most other couples approaches, I will name names and even take sides. In practice this comes across as caring commitment to the truth, not as confrontation. Couples like knowing where I think they stand, and what kind of quicksand I think they are trying to float on.
Couples tell me this process helps them feel hopeful since they can readily see that we are lasering in on real underlying sources of trouble right from the start.
I begin by having each partner fill out detailed informational forms in advance of our first session. The first few sessions are relatively structured as each member of the couple is engaged in conversation with me (in front of their partner) with the goal of getting out on the table each of the partner’s point of view and nailing down the essential relational problem.
The interactive process involves learning when and how to apply skills of relational repair in order to dispel feelings of disconnectedness, disharmony and a lack of satisfaction between mates.
During most of the interactive process I work with each partner individually while the other partner listens intently. We minimize the time wasted arguing back and forth, which can be fairly common in other types of couples work.
My objective is to address problematical behaviors of each partner separately so that the other partner can devote her/himself to listening and learning about the other. It’s one of the basic relational skills-when one person is talking, the other’s only job is listening.
I help each partner identify and understand how familial, financial, sexual and work-related pressures impact their relationship. I also promote improvement in communication skills.
After our assessment meetings, I identify and clearly discuss each person's particular problem areas and needs for growth. I provide and model the skills necessary for improvement and guide the couple toward their particular relationship solutions.
I teach couples that conflict is inevitable but respect is imperative. It’s all about learning how to turn adversity into opportunity for loving growth. This is achieved by helping couples regain the emotional and physical intimacy they once enjoyed.
My coaching methods reflect extensive training with Terry Real and his Relational Life Institute where I hold Master certification. Several years ago Terry asked me to write up a blog post highlighting how RLT benefits both partitioners and challenged couples, which you can read here.
Initial meeting is FOR 180 minutes. Fee is $800.
Meetings thereafter are for 90 minutes.
Fee is $400 per 90 minute session.
WEEKEND INTENSIVES may be scheduled in 3 hour ($1,000.-) or 6 hour ($2,000) blocks
I meet with couples at my office in New York City (111 E. 75th St.)
or at 3 Omega Road in Great Barrington, Ma.
Payment can be made by check, cash, credit card, or PayPal.
To schedule an appointment please email, text, or give me a call.